The right path

Listing to music and it makes me sad. I always been sensitive to music, it can change my mood so quickly. Today I've been high all day, being glad for silly or maybe not reasons. Just high on life, never used drugs and don't like alcohol so I can't compare how it is to be high on those substances. Music is my drug and he is my drug. Just listening to him or seeing his pics enough to disrupt my thoughts and send me to another world. I feel miserable for being this way sometimes but not all the time. I need to be obsessed to be able to find inspiration other wise I loose my will to live the way I should do and just exist without meaning. Ohhh god, I meant to do more, help more, change more. Being stuck or feeling stuck is killing me. I want to ran away somewhere where I needed or wanted. It is alway chaos in my mind. it has been since I remember and it will be till the day I die. It is just how my brain function but it is hard to live with it or use it for something constructive. I use music to calm down my brain and ease the pain I feel in my soul. I'm not afraid of pain, pain is good. It pushes you forward and makes you to decide the path you want to go. But I have to feel the pain and despair and it so hard. I need to remember and something good will come out it otherwise I just give up and stop living.
Do I have the courage to fallow my dreams??? Is it to late to have big dreams??? Am I the only one that feels this way? Fuck......

I can't play any instrument or sing but I can't survive without music. It is in my soul and every cell of my body. I don't know who "invented" Music but that person is like a God to me. I wish I knew who that was so i could build a statue of him/her and worship it. The musicians are Gods to me, their gift is so holy and beautiful that word can't describe it. Just being around them would make my life better and me a better person. I want to inspire people to be the best they are but can I? Something tells med that I have the ability I just have to find it but how, tell me please????

Sometimes I laugh at my dreams because they are so big and seems to be impossible but then I see many impossible dreams came true so why not mine???? Do I have live this life as it and accept it and wait for the next life or do I continue fighting for my dreams?

Ohh God this song is beautiful beyond words.....